Asking for space: Was it a mistake?

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Probably all for the better now - I think he showed me his true nature... I guess what I want to know is, does she actually love me or is she scared to be alone? Her friends explained to me her situation.

Your body is a temple, you have the chance to build it to be whatever you want! If you are in this type of relationship and it works for you, great. He will never be contented with his life if that is his mindset.

How to Ask Your Boyfriend for Space

One of the most important lessons I teach people is this: you need to give her some space. Let her come back to you on her own terms. The reasons for this is obvious: as a codependent, you struggle to be alone. You feel like you need your partner to be with you or else life sucks. Giving her some space feels like the last thing you want to do. Instead, you want to pull her in more because you feel like it will make things better, right? I want to tell a quick story about a relationship I had when I was younger. Understand: what I teach is nothing new or revolutionary. I have studied the most brilliant minds over the last 100 years and came to these conclusions through my experience. Like most people, I had the wrong mindsets for many years. I was needy and dated women out of boredom. I thought that being a would get me a girlfriend. I would bend over backwards to show my how much I cared. Because of this poor mindset, I always dated women that would take advantage of my weak mental state. Instead of backing off and giving her some space, I would instead try to do more to get the girl to want me. This is classic codependent thinking and it results in toxic, unhealthy relationships. So today I want to talk about why mindsets and giving space to your partner is key to a healthy relationship. But before we dive into this stuff, I have a free report that you might be interested in. You might not want to admit it, but it is your fault. Being aware of this mistake, and avoiding it in the future, is a major part of finding success in your relationship. Toxic Relationship After Toxic Relationship… My first few relationships were with women that I fell head over heels with. Toxic women with BPD to be exact. But did BPD really matter? The reality is that, like most people, I was using BPD as an excuse for my failing relationship. Instead of taking a good, hard look at myself, it was way easier to just blame my partner and her BPD as the reason for the failure. It just simply requires a change of mindsets in order to be in these types of relationships. But this is actually the case for every type of healthy relationship. I was too focused on the relationship and trying to make it better. I was always reading articles on BPD and trying my best to learn how to date these woman and get them to love me again. I refused to look at myself and see what I could change about me that would make it work. Instead, I was always just looking up techniques and whatnot that I could do when certain things happen. I was a codependent fool. Giving Space Is Part of Being Healthy One of the biggest mistakes I made in my early relationships was the poor mindsets that relationships are all about being close to your partner. And if you agree with that, let me explain why this is a poor mindset. The reality is that closeness is not supposed to be a conscious goal of the relationship. Closeness will naturally happen when you and your partner have natural, real chemistry. This means that once your hormones and emotions have died down aka the honeymoon period , if you and your partner consistently grow and evolve together, then you have natural chemistry. But this reality is based on whether you and your partner share similar mindsets and beliefs. This is why I constantly talk about what the healthy relationship mindsets are. You do things, say things, behave in certain ways that are trying to bring you two closer together. But instead of growing the relationship, often times you end up pushing your partner away. Because deep down, humans subconsciously know that relationships and chemistry happen over time. This is why poor mindsets are just that — poor. So How Do You Give Your Lover Space? So with that said, the question becomes how you correctly give space to your partner. You instead focus on ridding yourself of the poor, codependent mindsets and instead focus on developing strong, independent mindsets. This means that you need to spend less time worrying about the relationship and more time worrying about yourself. I know this truth more than anyone. I was as codependent as anyone can be. So when I decided to make the massive change and become who I am today, it only fuels me to teach people about it. In my early relationships, I spent all my time trying to learn about BPD and how to make it work. So the only reason I would ever give space to my partner was with the hope that it would make my partner be closer to me. It was such a poor way of thinking. I was going against what I wanted to do with the hope that my absence would draw her closer. And yeah, this would work at times and my partner would wonder why I was suddenly unresponsive. But the reality is that this is just a poor way of handling the bigger, deeper problems — mainly my poor mindsets. And as you are probably well aware, eventually it stops working all together and your partner goes cold permanently. Because at their core, women are drawn to mentally strong, able, independent men. Because being strong and independent is so damn rare these days, people are drawn to those like this. Ok But How Is This Related To Space Again? I know this can come off quite confusing. Maybe you came here looking for some tips about giving space or whatever other reasons you have. These just become band-aids to a bigger issue that needs to be fixed. What needs to be fixed is your belief system and the mindsets you have. All I am is an example of someone that figured this out and completely changed myself over the years. This is because I dropped my poor, fixed mindsets and learned about what actually makes a relationship work in the real world. And in 2016, our world is chaotic. The reason why my relationship training is so effective is because I am constantly improving it and adapting to the changes of this rapidly evolving social world we live in. Old rules become obsolete and new rules replace them. Closeness and true love cannot be forced. So if your partner is telling you that they need space, you need to look beyond the words at the bigger picture. So yes, backing off is the best thing to do for now. What can you be doing for yourself that will develop yourself, that will increase your quality of life? These are the questions to ask yourself when you encounter issues like this in your relationship. These are hints from your lover that the spark is fading. So you better get moving fast. This is really much bigger than that. My goal with this blog and my programs is to teach people about these relationship mindsets that make you into a great partner in general. Understand that the bigger your belief system, the greater mindsets you have, the more you begin to connect with your lovers and truly understand them on a deeper level. Literally 99% of people who are having problems in their relationship is because of this 1 mistake. Grab it below and let me know if you have any questions. So you need to LOVE to see him or her everyday! You at least have to prefer time with your partner then the other things or people you do or see even if you should do or see them once in a while , for a relationship to work really long term.. Lol well for one her comment was about a year ago. This is why you need to BE PATIENT and let time develop the relationship so that you know there is a NATURAL connection and not some forced marriage. That true long term intimacy needed more than what you are teaching. That to marry someone she needed someone who wanted to spend time around her as opposed to being with someone who only focuses on their own wants and needs. I think both is important. I have been reading and enjoying all your articles. Nineteen years my best friend and I have been enjoying eachothers company. Now after her divorce she and I live together. Its been three and a half years of ups and downs. But I live by so many of the ideas you have.. I have many great ideas to add to your many ideas. All of which work wonderful miracles. For the weak minded im sorry this just isnt the route to travel. If you arent willung to be Selfless adventurous and Strong move forward and enjoy your boring world. My story soon will follow. Love and peace to you and all success. Your a great mentor. Your clone and fellow bro. Robert Our relationship kind of ended premature.. She often blocks and unblocks my.. I want to try and make it work but she makes it rather difficult.. I think our emotions both fluctuate but it just sucks when it seems to be going along well.. How do you fix something like this? Does he just accept this relationship might not be right or does he actively try and make things better? Knowing space could be a bad sign does this bother him? It sounds like u would just focus on making things better in ur own life instead of worrying if the relationship will work out. I am 26 and in my first relationship, she is 21. The first year was amazing. She committed to me she would spend the night in a yr but when that time came she was too busy with school. These past 2 wks she is wanting space and texts me me very little. We still have short phone calls about 4 times a wk but she is distancing herself. She was stressed I kept asking her stuff like this and assured me things would get better. I told her I was sorry for stressing her and will give her more space. Not sure if this is an indicator of something much larger. I gave her the benefit of the doubt because she really was doing a lot with school and was busy. Lol, long post, thanks for the great articles and hope u can shed some light on my situation. So yes, this article applies directly to you. You should just focus on yourself instead of worrying about the relationship. Relationships should be independent, no codependent. Have you seen situations where someone has a poor mindset, their lover wants space, and they are able to recognize this and develop good mindsets before it is too late? Does it take messing up a few relationships to develop these better mindsets? I would say 6 months of solid mindset development will get you on the track to life success. Obviously I teach the way to speed this up ASAP in my courses. I would suggest that instead of spending effort trying to please your wife and make her happy, you instead spend your free time playing with your kids and making THEM happy. Simply being able to bond with them and play after work everyday is how you prevent this. And to me, this sounds much more important than trying to make your wife happy… This absolutely make since to me now, this whole time I was jus thinking as if giving her space would be enough to attract her back to me. In the process I was only focused on that and not changing my ways and learning from my mistakes. I feel inspired by it. We became good friends and then added each other in social media. He then informed me of his decision to join the army. I always took him casually as a friend. I,on the other hand never made an effort for him.. He also said that he has soft feelings for me but he wanted time to create deeper feelings. I believed that if he truly loves me why would he need additional time to create or evolve feelings? I basically didnt want to give in because I am scared of loving someone as I once had a very bad heartbreak Its been 7 months since that.. He tells me he is extremely busy and all.. But he is someone who requires and takes quite a lot of space and once he gets that space he behaves like he misses me and starts acting romantic. I dont know what he wants. Honestly, this guy is a chode. Probably got hit on the head one too many times in the army. Go talk to other guys, go on dates. Now i have agreed with this your article and at the same time, want to know if it is possible to be hopefully for her to come around while i begin this long journey of improving my mindset? I tried talking about it but all to a futile end.

Any advice would be great. Hes north me my space but he made sure that we have to stay put. Bottom line, it is ALOT of together time. It has nothing to do with how much they love you. So that night after we both got off of work, we sat down to talk about it yes, i had a bag prime. A guy will spend so much time money and invest everything in you to get to that point. One of these positions his father and others felt should have been held for people and families of social, political and family position in the community. If that were the el fantastic I would be ok with that. Giving her some space feels like the last thing you want to do.